Letting go of anything is not easy …especially navigating the grief that accompanies any loss. Grief is a raw and real emotion, yet necessary to help us heal after releasing whatever we’re grieving over.
There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance/action.
You think you should experience it level by level, and once you're done with one, you move on to the next. But, in actuality, you just spiral around all the levels until you settle on acceptance/action. It can act as a true emotional dust storm.
We attach grief to things we expect to feel… like the death of a loved one, but can grief show up when you find out your child is unique and starting a different journey than the one you thought (Autism Spectrum Disorder)? Or you are forced to stay at home (quarantine/reduction of human interaction)? Or when you have to teach online (new job in a 10-day turnaround)? Or when your soul is purely exhausted because you're tired of witnessing the murders of your black brothers and sisters and constantly wondering why our society doesn't see that your life matters despite your skin color (#blacklivesmatter)? Or if your 10-year-old dog dies from cancer (RIP Apollo)? Or if you're in a lifetime relationship that ends (separation/divorce)? Or if you have pregnancy loss and few family member even bother to check on you to ensure you’re ok? Or if your nuclear family refuses to make it a priority to connect…even around holidays?
Yes. It does. I could go on and on about the grief I’ve experienced, but each time, the packages of grief were wrapped differently and experienced in different ways. And the dust storms never settled the same way.
Luckily, I'm where I am with my spiritual and emotional growth and development because if not… Y'ALL. So thankful for my self-awareness, humble spirit, ability to ask for help when I need it, and the gift of being able to shift my perspective about situations (sometimes, I don’t know if this is a ‘gift’ or a trauma response, but I know it helps me to function).
So where’s the power in that? The power lies in the transformative growth one will achieve through this process. Grief is a universal experience that connects us all, so use your grief process to connect or reconnect with yourself and others, practice gratitude for the present moment, offer yourself love, compassion, and grace, give yourself permission to feel all the feelings, and unleash a powerful love for what resides after the loss.
Love, peace, and solace to you as you move through the present and into a beautiful future!
Alexa, play “Agnus Dei" by Samuel Barber. It's my favorite classical piece and is perfect for the grieving process. Listening to it massages your soul and the deepest parts of my heart with the moving vocal lines that emulate the cello. (Not all versions are created equal...the version below is the absolute best one.)
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