Greetings and Happy Monday, everyone! May this blog post bring you what you need in the present moment. May my light exude positivity and kindness, and may my love be extended to all who could use a little extra. Asé! Let's seize the moment!
Because of my busy schedule, my blogs will align with "A Monday Moment with Dr. Mal," my live-streamed episodes on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, and X. Check them out at the aforementioned links!
Y'all, I made it! I'm officially Dr. Mallory D. McCoy! And yes, I'm giving myself two hand claps and a twirl because only a few people know the arduous journey I traveled to get to this part of my life, and nobody can ever tell my story quite like I can.
I normally start my shows with gratitude, but today, I will start with the facts because I need you to know why this matters. Also, you know I love a good definition, and I'm team #factsoverfeelings. So, let’s get into it!
First, let’s talk about the different doctoral degrees because, as for me, I will not be doing anything medical with my doctoral degree.
There are two major types of doctoral degrees: academic and professional. Academic doctoral degrees include Doctor of Philosophy (PhD), Doctor of Education (EdD), Doctor of Design (DDes), Doctor of Fine Arts (DFA), Doctor of Nursing Science (DNS), and Doctor of Theology (ThD). Professional doctoral degrees include Doctor of Business Administration (DBA), Doctor of Dental Surgery (DDS), Doctor of Dental Medicine (DMD), Doctor of Podiatric Medicine (DPM), Doctor of Chiropractic (DC), Doctor of Veterinary Medicine (DVM), Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine (ND), and Juris Doctor (JD).
It was really difficult to find the most recent statistics for Black women with advanced degrees. The statistics are minimal and only as recent as 2021. But thanks to Dr. Xaulanda Simmonds-Emmanuel for writing a blog in 2022 that provided me with the following two statistics:
14.3% of U.S. adults had advanced degrees, which is up from 10.9% in 2011.
Among Black students completing higher education degrees, Black women earned more than 60% of doctoral degrees, 70% of master’s degrees, and approximately 66% of bachelor’s degrees at the 30 highest-ranking universities in the United States.
However, the one that stands out the most is the percentage of Black women with doctoral degrees. According to the National Science Foundation’s Survey of Earned Doctorates, in 2019, 4.4% of doctoral degrees were earned by Black women. The word-of-mouth statistics say that it is less than 1%, but I was able to infer that the number is growing. Nonetheless, I’m proud to be in the number.
I bet you want to know how I got HERE to THIS POINT. In the infamous words of Langston Hughes, “life for me ain't been no crystal stair,” but I’ve certainly been protected and favored. My doctoral journey began in 4th grade. I loved school so much, and I remember asking my 4th-grade teacher while writing in my classroom journal what the highest title I could have as a teacher. And she said that I could get a doctorate in Education Administration. So, I can remember writing a “Top 10 Things I Want to do in My Life” list, and number 10 was “Get a Doctorate in Education Administration.” I even remember me writing the cursive D on the paper. I can see it in my head. Little did I know that I’d manifest my current reality. That’s my personal testament to the power of words and thought.
My dad, mom, stepdad, and siblings did not choose a collegiate path. The only one in my family who chose a collegiate path is my Uncle Tim, who is a naturopath in Wichita and has a practice there. It’s crazy that I never asked him about his collegiate journey, and he’s so accessible. I digress. Anyway, I didn’t have any guidance on how to apply for college in high school. The kids I went to school with didn’t leave the town, and the ones that did either left and never came back or came back and worked for their family’s business. I just never went back. In my senior year, I was in the Missouri All-State Choir, and Dr. Eph Ely was the choir director. He is an incredible conductor. I asked him what the best school for music in Missouri was, and he told me I should apply to the UMKC Conservatory. That’s where he worked. So, that was the only school I applied for. To be honest, I only had money to apply for one. And if I wasn’t good enough to get into the best music school in the state, then I wasn’t good enough. Luckily, there are higher forces that work on my behalf. When I got the audition, I drove to KC by myself 3 hours, auditioned, then drove back to Troy, MO all in one day. Then, I was accepted into college. Because I applied after February, there were no scholarships, so I paid my way with tons of student loans, but I made it. And that was only the beginning of my journey. Don’t worry. I plan to write my story and present it in chunks, so it’s digestible. Fast forward to the last 5 years, and whoa! Life didn't stop LIFIN' because I wanted to get a doctoral degree. It was more boring until I received the acceptance letter into the program. Let's just say I'm glad I don't look like what I went through! That story is coming to a blog or book near you, too.
Right now, I want to take a moment to read the dedication and acknowledgment sections of my dissertation. I want to give flowers to those who helped me on this journey.
The title of my research is “Black Females’ Perceptions of Their Social-Emotional Learning and the Inclusion of Counterspaces in Suburban High Schools.”
I dedicated this work as a love letter to 9-year-old Mallory Denise Clark. She was always looking for herself in every space and never saw any representation of herself in any space she was in. I hope that with my work and research, she feels seen, heard, felt, and loved. When she wrote that she wanted a Doctorate in Educational Administration, she did not even know what that meant. But look, girl! We did it!
Academically speaking. words cannot express my forever gratitude to Dr. Rogers. When my previous advisor retired, I was hoping to get another major advisor who was socially open since my dissertation is so Black girl magical and who would support me in achieving a swift completion. Dr. Rogers has been that for me, consistently providing constructive feedback and expertise. I have most appreciated her academic push to get me where I am right now ... FINISHED! I also enjoyed hearing about her travels to see her granddaughter play soccer and teach her family how to make Lebanese bread. I am also grateful to Dr. Waterman, who interjected her expertise in data analysis and shared her deep love for her animals and garden during our virtual calls. I loved both the flow and ebbs of our meetings. Both are beautiful humans. Thanks to Dr. Frye and Dr. Jacobson for serving on my committee. Dr. Frye is giving and kind, and Dr. Jacobson is incredible for helping me!
I am also grateful to Baker University Cohort 24. We connected and carried each other through the pandemic and, despite the craziness of it all, persevered! Most of us held in there and made it to the end of the courses. Some of us have already obtained our EdD, and others are still moving toward it. Nonetheless, it was an honor to learn from you and academically grow with you. May we continue to check up on each other, and may our text message group never dry up. We still have to take our trip!
To the 22 ladies who completed my survey: I am incredibly grateful for your participation. With your contribution, you have helped me add to the research pool that advances knowledge and promotes advocacy for the livelihood of Black girls, Black young ladies, and Black women in any space or counterspace in which we exist.
Personally speaking, there are some people who held my hand or held me up on my life journey. I could never repay them for what they did for me and who they are to me. I'm forever grateful for them.
To Dad: you have always been there, and you have always been and continue to be supportive. You are one of my greatest gifts in this life! I literally would not be where I am today if it were not for your personal sacrifices. Your hard work and dedication to Nicole and I have not gone unnoticed. I am forever indebted to you. I love you.
To Mom: thank you so much for being my emotional rock when you could. Thank you for your vessel that safely housed me and ushered me into this earthly plane, and always being willing to listen and pick up the phone when I call. I love you.
To Raymond: there are truly no words that could properly express my gratitude to you for everything. No one truly knows the full extent of all the good and the crazy that has transpired since I started this program but you. In all the ways I can never express with words, you made it possible in every way for me to achieve my dream of getting a doctorate, and I am forever indebted to you. I get to graduate with a doctoral degree and next to nothing student loan debt because of you. I am grateful for your physical and emotional sacrifices as well. I'm grateful for the 19 years of growing up together because we've learned much more than school could ever teach anyone...together. I will love you as long as time exists and beyond.
To my son Raymond II: you were the driving force that propelled me through completing this doctoral program. I never knew I could love anyone as much as I love you. I do what I do so you do not ever have to. You are my joy personified, a Source-given gift, and I am incredibly blessed to be your mom. For all the times I had to close the door and spend time away from you, I cannot wait to make it up to you. I love you forever and one more day, Sweet Thang.
To my sister Nicole: thank you for all you are to me and for being my check-in and cheerleader person. We have laughed, cried, fought, and loved one another for our whole lifetime. Thank you for the gift of you. Love you, sister!
To my mother-in-love, Maria: thank you for being a mighty part of my tiny yet mighty village! You love me like a daughter and have helped out with RI and RII in any way you can! I am thankful for your presence in my life. Love you!
To my babysitter Kylie: Thank you for watching RII anytime I needed you, especially on Dissertation Writing Wednesdays. I knew he was in good hands when he was with you. Good luck with your future endeavors!
To anyone else in my life who has shared a motivating word, prayed for me, hugged me, pushed me in a positive way (Katie McCoy), laughed with me, cried with me, listened to me when I needed to vent and have grown women conversations (Stephanie McIntosh, Ofelia Saddler), invited me out, hung out with me (Vanessa New, Tammie May, Dr. Denisha Johnson), loved on me, gave me tips for success in writing my dissertation and shared resources with me (Dr. Cherlisa Jackson and Dr. Ashley Smith), liked a Facebook or Instagram post, watched me offload my thoughts on social media and responded, THANK YOU! You are a projection of my reality, so I am incredibly thankful I manifested YOU in my life!
Lastly, to little Mallory and other Black girls who are receiving their education from a predominately White institution: I see you. I hope this research also helps you to feel seen and supported. I hope this research highlights the urgency to create a counterspace in your educational space so you feel like you can breathe in and out the very essence of who you are without anyone feeling the need to police the way you look, the way you talk, or the way you move. Never let anyone dim your light or try to usurp your magic. You are incredible. I love us.
To everyone else, consider this my open resume. And for those asking what's next, give me a second. The pressure of it all felt like when I first got married, and people would ask me when we were having babies. I'd think to myself: can I enjoy being married first? And now, I'm saying out loud: can I just rest in completing this incredibly difficult task before thinking about "doing" something else? Stop trying to fill my academic womb before I'm ready! 🤣
But what I’m saying when I say that is that there are so many moving parts already, and that question seems too loaded to tell you briefly in a quick conversation.
To start, you can ask me to come work with you or for you, but I already work for myself. Mallory D. McCoy, LLC was established on July 4, 2020, and on that day, Mallory Mo-tary became one of my DBAs. I became an active mobile notary, and a year later, I became a remote online notary. I specialize in real estate loan notarizations and estate planning notarizations. I have extensive experience performing all types of notarizations. I’m currently in the process of renewing my notary commission.
On 2/22/24, #WHENMALLORYLIVES, my personal brand name, became my 2nd DBA. And with the two businesses together, I plan to take over the world as I know it. Since it's my brand, I can offer myself in many different ways because my skills are vast.
I learned many life lessons over the last few years, but the one I found a lot of value in is to make sure that I don’t define who I am by what I do but define who I am by who I am to myself and others.
So, I'm a person first and foremost and a woman before, now, and always who concurrently maintains the following roles:
Black Woman Scholar: I'm a lifelong student. I was always the one who asked too many questions and talked too much. I stay thirsty for knowledge, and my brain never has less than 20 tabs open at any given time. School has always been easy for me, so I just kept going. I graduated high school in 2003 with a 3.7 GPA, went straight to college at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, and received my BME in K-12 Choral Music Education in 2008. In 2009, I started my Masters program at Baker and completed my Masters of Arts in Education in 2011. In February 2019, I was accepted into the Doctoral Program at Baker University, and I successfully defended on May 1, 2024! What a journey!
Mother Goddess: I am a human mother of 3 souls. One son is Earthside, and two sons are on the other side. My Earthside son is my joy personified. At some point, I'll share the story of my angels and how both their souls continue to illuminate my life. What an honor it was to have grown and birthed my son with my body, and what an honor it continues to be to mother him.
Life Partner: I am a committed partner to my friend of over 19 years. We grew up together and have learned so much from each other and with each other. To be frank, we're at a crossroads in our relationship, as our life purposes are vastly different, but the level of support and love that flows between us remains constant and consistent. He's my forever person, and what a gift it has been to share my life with him. It is an honor to have someone who CHOOSES to love, care for, laugh, cry, console, support, argue and make up with, have fun with, travel with, learn from, learn with, converse with, and co-exist with you. I'm thankful our souls found each other in this lifetime. So much love to you, Raymond!
Sister-Daughter-Auntie: My Dad, Mom, stepdad, 5 siblings, their families, and my in-loves and their families are incredibly important to me. My sister and auntie roles helped me hone my mothering skills, and let’s be real: I love being AUNTIE MAL! Being the oldest child, I have always been the torchbearer, so blazing paths is not a new thing. It’s true what they say about birth order.
Plant Mom: I think this is important to my resume because it demonstrates that I care for other parts of Source. The Earth is truly our home, so to tend to it shows compassion beyond the scope of human life. I grow vegetables and maintain my houseplants. Most of my plants have names, and I sing and speak to them. They are alive and deserve love and care. I also eat them, as I practice a plant-based lifestyle.
Servant Leader: Servant leaders strive to be of service to others. I'm competent, compassionate, and trustworthy. I'm also empathetic, ethical, and action-oriented.
Advocate for all: I'm not afraid to use my voice to advocate for the voiceless. It's my life's purpose to connect with others, honing my communication and social skills to be a leader in my community. The adaptability and versatility I've had to possess to thrive through my doctoral program have prepared me to thrive in any situation. I've even considered running for my local school board in the future, so if you see me come up on the ballot, vote for me!
Written and Oral Storyteller: I'm an excellent communicator. It's one of my top 5 Clifton Strengths. To exercise this strength, I've chosen to express myself through this platform and my blog. I produce, design, write, and create all the content myself. In the near future, I plan to write books and create another podcast that will be announced soon. I have this strong urge to get my story out, as I hope to save others' lives with it.
I'm also not scared to be in front of a crowd, so if you want to invite me to speak, just give me the topic, and I'll put the Dr. Queen Mal touch on it.
Lifelong Educator: Coupled with my gift of communication, my passion for educating and reciprocating learning has ascended me to this point. Education is just one continuous reciprocal flow of teaching and learning, and I never stop educating. People close to me don't call me the Google Queen for nothing. I have the skill to teach any subject matter to all ages, but my expertise is teaching life to the young. It's so beautiful to be in their energies because they are the closest to Source, and their souls are not as weighed down by the world. I'm also newly passionate about educating and connecting with Black women, young ladies, and girls at a soul level. There's some collective healing that needs to happen, but I know it has to start with Black women. Not only do Black women need healing, but also others need to heal their unconscious biases about Black women. The weight of the world sits on our shoulders, and the cradle of civilization lies in our womb.
Children's Choir Director: When I chose vocal music education as a career, I was just doing it because I'm a great vocalist, and as previously expressed, I love educating others. However, after teaching full-time for 14 years and working harder than I was getting paid to do, I exited the full-time teaching field. I tried to stay away, but the souls of children kept calling me back, so I signed up to substitute teach. And although the pay is still horrible, I love teaching on my terms. Amid this, I was asked by my friend and international composer and music publisher Ryan if I wanted to conduct the youngest choir of his organization, Youth Chorus of Kansas City. I said YES, and the rest is history. I just wrapped up my first season with them, and I can’t wait until next season. If you have a singer of ANY age K-12, audition season is open! Come sing with us!
Business Owner: I previously mentioned that I own a couple of businesses through my LLC, but I also am a real estate owner and property manager. With my partner, we've bought and held houses to rent to others in the Kansas City Area since 2009. Through this business venture, I've learned the true ministry of helping people because housing is a basic need. People talk about their landlords all the time, but unless you've BEEN one, you have NO idea. It's crazy on this side. The stories we could tell are so incredible that they're almost unbelievable. That sounds like a good book, too. Adding that to the LIST.
Aspiring Model: This is just something I've been doing for fun because I crossed paths with someone who enjoys being creative with me. Shoutout to VICSPIX! But I love taking pictures, I love beautiful clothes and accessories, and I love beautifying myself with big hair and makeup. If you could see me as a part of your visuals, let me know. I can also sing and act. I’m just sprinkling that out in the Universe to see what happens.
Soul Coach: This is a new title I'm adding to my list because it's a significant part of my new journey. While writing my dissertation, I experienced a huge spiritual awakening and enlightenment. It has been a riveting experience because I was simultaneously tied to my academic research, which is the most cerebral task to accomplish, and unlocking my heart to the beauty, glory, wonder, and light of my newfound spiritual path. I wanted to dive in and learn all the things about all the things, but I was locked into completing my dissertation. But now that I'm free to be me, I'm diving to the bottom of my spiritual ocean and collecting the treasure of knowledge that awaits.
If you're interested in taking this journey with me, I'll be hosting my sister circles this summer once per month in my home and, eventually, my own Soul Space. I also plan to start hosting Soul Sustenance Sundays this summer with the intention of providing the purest sustenance for the souls that choose to partake. I also have a ton of things to sell, so I'll be having an OBO Summer Sale or two.
For those willing to take the spiritual plunge with me, I read oracle cards and would love to practice with you! Shoot me a message if you'd like a reading. Once I get good, the price is going up!
To close, I will leave you with a summary of my strengths: As a maximizer, I have an innate ability to transform the ordinary into the extraordinary, always striving for excellence in everything I do. I can effortlessly woo (win others over) by connecting with people and forming meaningful relationships. As you can see through this medium, I am a skilled and charismatic communicator, capable of conveying ideas with clarity and charm. As an activator, I am talented at turning ideas into action, inspiring those around me to pursue their goals fervently. Finally, my positivity radiates like sunshine, infusing optimism and enthusiasm into every endeavor, uplifting the spirits of those fortunate enough to know me. In me, you'll find a dynamic, motivating force dedicated to bringing out the best in people and situations.
If you find that I can be a part of your story, please contact me as soon as you're ready.
My call to action is to carve my path, create my reality, and literally and figuratively write my own story. I am the creator of my story, so I'm choosing to move through this part of my story in power, love, and inspiration.
I feel deeply supported by the Universe and other forces working on my behalf. Still, if you feel compelled to support me, my journey, and my endeavors or just send a congratulatory token of love, you can do so to my Cash App, my Venmo, my PayPal, or my Zelle by scanning any of the QR Codes. The funds will be used with the intention of helping others because that's what I've been called to do.
If you don’t want to send monetary support, liking, commenting, subscribing, and sharing are all free ways to support! You can catch this broadcast on Facebook, YouTube, Twitch, and now, X!
And to wrap up, I leave you with a quote and a list of affirmations:
Well, that's all for me this week! This month, I feel compelled to speak about the educational experience, so tune in next week for a show entitled “Teacher Appreciation Week Is Not Enough!”.
Alexa, play "If It Wasn't For Your Love" by Heather Headley. I loved this song during high school and sang it as my senior solo. I think of it often, and it's so pertainable here! Here’s my musical ‘Thank You’!
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